Wednesday 14 November 2012
Wednesday 7 September 2011
A Good Seeing To
It's all you need really isn't it love? Right boys? What a total cunt Cameron is. I'm not talking about all the shit he and his politician gang members come out with, from whatever party, I'm only talking about this particular moment. Whatever Nadine Dorries views are she is entitled to put them forward and fight for them, because she is an MP. We may or may not agree with them, but she is still entitled to put them forward.
An MP is supposed to be someone who represents their particular constituency, gathers information about what their constituents feel strongly about, and puts them forward to our Prime Minister at 'Prime Ministers Question Time'. So, as I understood her question, Nadine Dorries put forward a question to David Cameron about who is actually in charge here? As the Lib Dems seem to have a majority in the coalition. Our Prime Ministers response? The man who runs our country?
'You appear to be frustrated' - intentional pause to let the innuendo sink in' - Guffaws all around from his old boys network and embarrassed smiles from the token women they let pretend to be MP's - "I'm not even going to finish' - Sits down surrounded by little boy giggles.
Brilliant. So a female MP asks a question, albeit in a sarcastic way, but it was quite legitimate all the same, and this public schoolboy toffee nosed cunt tries to humiliate her by basically saying all she needs is a good seeing to, like your typical moronic male would. Thank fuck there are some people out there that saw this episode for the cretinous thing that it was. But it also lets us know that the 'Old boys network' is still alive and well and flourishing at Westminster, and you know what their philosophy is: We look after our own, and fuck everyone else. Yeah, we know.
Monday 29 August 2011
Wednesday 17 August 2011
Stupidmarket? This would never happen in Harrods.
Today I went to Tescos. After parking my Porsche I got my two children out of the car and proceeded to spend £1000 a month on my food shopping. It had already been a stressful morning for me as driving a Porsche in Jimmy Choo shoes can be a terrible strain on my ankles, but still, I struggled on. By the way did I mention I have a Porsche?
As I entered Tesco it dawned on me that as I'd just done some gardening I must have looked like a poor person, I swallowed the self consciousness this brought me and hoped at least some people in Tesco might realise that I'm not, in fact, a poor person. I didn't hold out much hope that these sorts of people would realise that as they more than likely have also shopped in Aldi at some point. To emphasize that I'm not poor I put my £300 handbag on the trolley in case, by some unbelievable twist of fate, someone might recognize that it was a genuine designer bag and not something you buy in a normal shop. Ugh.
After browsing for a while and feeling terribly unclean through it all, I went to pay for my (Name brand goods only darling) shopping. Just as I was about to leave the store a security guard did his job. How utterly preposterous. I am rich. How very dare he? He suspected that I'd shoplifted, and treated me like a suspected shoplifter. Did he not see my handbag? Was the CCTV not in the car park? Did he not see what car I got out of? Was he some kind of spasticated spina bifida sufferer with ADHD and a prosthetic leg? (I'll retract that later when some disabled people complain and I'll pretend that I didn't mean it ok?)
I was gently ushered into a backroom by said security spaz, although I'm going to write frogmarched because it adds to the drama don't you know. I mean honestly, you do not usher people like me into back rooms, you only usher the shoplifting type into back rooms. They also had the audacity to search my handbag (AS IF I'd put any lower class shop's stock into that £300 beauty!) They found my Porsche keys, my designer make up, and my designer tampons (Chanel No. Medium Flow) yet they still didn't cotton on.
I was absolutely flabbergasted when they said "Sorry Madam, we've made an error and you're free to go, please accept our apologies". Like hell I was going to accept their apologies, I am not a poor person who is simply going to accept an apology, a £10 voucher and get on with my life. I want it in writing, to me, to my daughter, to baby Jesus and an amendment to the Magna Carta mentioning the episode. They treated me like a poor mum with two kids in tow, how disgusting. When they realised I wasn't a poor mum with two kids in tow but with £1000 a month to spend on food shopping in tow, they apologised, not because the security guard did his job, but because I spend £1000 a month on food shopping. Tesco want that.
Good luck to the security guard though, paid a minimum wage no doubt, just doing his job, who is now probably unemployed, and if not, will no doubt start getting 'prepared' for that particular Tesco's 'staff streamlining'.
When my story appears in The Telegraph it will be entirely different to my original post. I'll also add a little tidbit like, oh I don't know "I normally buy my shampoo from the hairdressers but seeing as these are hard times I sniffed Pantene" That will surely connect me to the peasantry. I am not an elitist snob.
As I entered Tesco it dawned on me that as I'd just done some gardening I must have looked like a poor person, I swallowed the self consciousness this brought me and hoped at least some people in Tesco might realise that I'm not, in fact, a poor person. I didn't hold out much hope that these sorts of people would realise that as they more than likely have also shopped in Aldi at some point. To emphasize that I'm not poor I put my £300 handbag on the trolley in case, by some unbelievable twist of fate, someone might recognize that it was a genuine designer bag and not something you buy in a normal shop. Ugh.
After browsing for a while and feeling terribly unclean through it all, I went to pay for my (Name brand goods only darling) shopping. Just as I was about to leave the store a security guard did his job. How utterly preposterous. I am rich. How very dare he? He suspected that I'd shoplifted, and treated me like a suspected shoplifter. Did he not see my handbag? Was the CCTV not in the car park? Did he not see what car I got out of? Was he some kind of spasticated spina bifida sufferer with ADHD and a prosthetic leg? (I'll retract that later when some disabled people complain and I'll pretend that I didn't mean it ok?)
I was gently ushered into a backroom by said security spaz, although I'm going to write frogmarched because it adds to the drama don't you know. I mean honestly, you do not usher people like me into back rooms, you only usher the shoplifting type into back rooms. They also had the audacity to search my handbag (AS IF I'd put any lower class shop's stock into that £300 beauty!) They found my Porsche keys, my designer make up, and my designer tampons (Chanel No. Medium Flow) yet they still didn't cotton on.
I was absolutely flabbergasted when they said "Sorry Madam, we've made an error and you're free to go, please accept our apologies". Like hell I was going to accept their apologies, I am not a poor person who is simply going to accept an apology, a £10 voucher and get on with my life. I want it in writing, to me, to my daughter, to baby Jesus and an amendment to the Magna Carta mentioning the episode. They treated me like a poor mum with two kids in tow, how disgusting. When they realised I wasn't a poor mum with two kids in tow but with £1000 a month to spend on food shopping in tow, they apologised, not because the security guard did his job, but because I spend £1000 a month on food shopping. Tesco want that.
Good luck to the security guard though, paid a minimum wage no doubt, just doing his job, who is now probably unemployed, and if not, will no doubt start getting 'prepared' for that particular Tesco's 'staff streamlining'.
When my story appears in The Telegraph it will be entirely different to my original post. I'll also add a little tidbit like, oh I don't know "I normally buy my shampoo from the hairdressers but seeing as these are hard times I sniffed Pantene" That will surely connect me to the peasantry. I am not an elitist snob.
Monday 15 August 2011
Greedy Bastards
They always come unstuck in the end, well unless they're bankers or politicians, but still....
Lombok, a furniture chain store, has just gone into administration. Financial climate? Of course. It's obvious that people are no longer willing to throw away lots and lots of money on things which are not worth lots and lots of money so that they can tell their neighbours 'Oh, my table is from this overpriced shop, aren't I better than you?"
So, like the other ridiculously overpriced, make-it-for-a-tenner-sell-it-for-£800 greedy fuckers Habitat, Lombok are no more. And good riddance.
Lombok, a furniture chain store, has just gone into administration. Financial climate? Of course. It's obvious that people are no longer willing to throw away lots and lots of money on things which are not worth lots and lots of money so that they can tell their neighbours 'Oh, my table is from this overpriced shop, aren't I better than you?"
£28 for a fucking candle? Hello?
£2,000 for a poxy little sofa? No normal person would pay that.
So, like the other ridiculously overpriced, make-it-for-a-tenner-sell-it-for-£800 greedy fuckers Habitat, Lombok are no more. And good riddance.
Habitat are/were selling this aluminium, yes aluminum table for £420, and £50 delivery charge.
No, they really were.
Sunday 14 August 2011
Saturday 13 August 2011
Manchester Police Apologize To Thieving Filth
God Forbid the police should celebrate nabbing a handler of stolen goods, or even someone who KNOWS that those goods are stolen, WHO stole them and HOW they stole them. What on earth is going on when the police have to apologize to a handler of stolen goods? If there were no handlers of stolen goods, then goods would never be stolen, because there wouldn't be a market for it.
Awww some people complained that the police tweeted about it in a 'celebratory fashion'. All I saw was a 'There are no excuses' tweet, and even if they did, so? If I were in charge of the police I would make it obligatory to Tweet "Yes! We got the thieving fucker!" Because law abiding citizens should be given the utmost respect, thieving filth should be given none.
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